The pain is coming in waves… like contractions during birth… These waves are crashing together over my head, drowning me… again and again… I don’t know how to hold space for myself. Holding this pain, cradle it in my arms, so I can heal… I find it overwhelming, trying to hold it all in instead……
Kategorie: Thoughts
Still dancing
My feet are touching the ground. Again and again. Stomping, sliding, full of joy and full of sorrow. My grief has not fully left me, yet. I feel myself vibrating with the music. I can also feel the other dancers‘ energy around me. Finally, I settle into my movement and rhythm… I am writing this…
Aufruhr
Die Gitarre verklingt. Ich schaue aus dem Fenster in den frühen Abend. Es ist schon dunkel. Es war ein seltsamer Tag. Ganz unwirklich fühlt sich der Nachmittag an, jetzt, wo ich wieder ganz ruhig bin. Heute morgen war ich in Aufruhr. Erst traurig und einsam. Dann kam die Wut. Meine Wut auf die Menschen. Darauf,…
Upstream: Back to life
I have always felt connected to the Ocean. The sheer power of this huge body of water seemed to shrink my feelings of bitterness. Making it more bearable somehow.Now I realize that this was also convenient. It made my negative feelings look „not as bad“. Facing the Ocean once again, I want to make peace….
Erschütterung
Manchmal, verstehe ich die Welt nicht mehr. Manchmal, denke ich, dass ist ein schlechter Traum. Und dann hoffe ich, dass ich gleich aufwache. Manchmal, passieren Dinge, die ziehen mir den Boden unter den Füßen weg. Manchmal, will ich dann nicht wieder aufstehen. Und dann tue ich es doch. Einfach, weil mein Leben weitergeht und diese…
Coming home, taking root
Every couple of weeks I am meeting with three other women. Through their eyes I am learning more about myself, who I really am and also, who I used to be in my previous life. For many people this might sound crazy but I carry memories that are not from here. In my old life…
Seething
My anger just comes out of nowhere. Or so it seems. One minute I am talking to him and a blink of an eye later I am storming off, banging the door behind me for proper exit. What happened?! Some people – usually the ones closest to us – just push our buttons. Not just…
Stepping into the water
In dreams, water often represents emotions or an emotional state of the person dreaming. This morning, on the edge of sleeping and waking up I remember standing at the shore of a lake. I am debating whether to step into the cold water. Imagining the jolt of its icyness touching my skin. While this is…
Taking flight
The other night I had a dream. Instead of falling into the abyss I took flight. In full control over my body I was able to zoom through the air, twisting and turning at a whim. Beneath me I saw hills and forests, a path leading down from the mountain to a small town further…
mehrlebenskunst. 