Every couple of weeks I am meeting with three other women. Through their eyes I am learning more about myself, who I really am and also, who I used to be in my previous life. For many people this might sound crazy but I carry memories that are not from here.

In my old life I was a shaman. People used to come to me for advice, support, or insight. When I speak about this time now, something lights up inside of me. Words flowing from a place I did not know yet. I delight myself with re-connecting to something familiar and deeply meaningful. That life I speak of was me, is me. I still know.

Today I understand that when I took the decision to leave this world I left my ‚roots‘ behind. While taking soul flight I had left my body and did not come back. It was final.
That is why my root chakra feels disconnected and fragmented. I was always ready to leave again at a moment’s notice. Fully determined to take that leap. It felt very existential like standing on the edge of an abyss ready to step into that void. In my conscious life I was always on the move, restless, and discontent.

Over the last few weeks I realized I had stepped away from that ledge. I no longer want to leave. When I understood that in this life I could actually take a new decision, it sent me into an inner turmoil which took a couple of days to settle down. The truth is I have already made a home here, in this life. Subconsciously, however, I had been stuck in a life crisis all this time and only now managed to see that it was over.

This has been a long, slow journey. Connecting to that part of me, reflecting with others, letting the „ugly“ feelings surface, moving through that with as much acceptance as I can gather at any given time. And then doing it all over again. No matter whether my previous life ever existed or not, I can now focus on healing this part of me. I have found that chakra meditations help me directing my focus to where it is needed. Also, lots of time to rest and sleep. And of course, people around me that do not judge but support me.

I belong into this life. I am safe now. I am home.

Everything I have been able to understand so far I owe to exploring the workings of my mind with the concept of Inner Persons.  IndividualSystemics is a comprehensive inner parts theory developed by Veeta and Artho Wittemann. It provides me with the framework along with the resources including a network of people supporting each other through the process.

I could not ask for more.