A couple of days ago, I rolled out my mat in the living room. For the first time since we moved in three weeks ago. Don’t ask me what took me so long. Maybe the kitchen seemed more appealing because it is somewhat finished and furnished, while our living room is still quite bare with some boxes in between…
I woke up at 5:30 am. My mind was going at 100 miles an hour and I knew I could’t get back to sleep. Then I was standing there, in the dark, spreading my toes, touching my head down, arriving on my own mat. I haven’t practiced on my mat in months. The studio I go to, provides them, and well, my regular home practice is still just an item on my to do list.
And as usual, as soon as I am here, right here with my head down I wonder, what took me so long to get back here.
The last few days I struggled with calming my mind. Too many why and what if questions flying around in my head. Trying to tackle some level of acceptance (see the irony here? Tackle acceptance… like I was trying to catch it with a lasso.)
Instead I needed to let it be. Let acceptance come to me. When I am ready that is. And usually, a bit of humility helps me accomplish that… face down on my mat.